LAKELAND — Melba Whitaker, wife of Florida Conference Bishop Timothy W. Whitaker, knows the life of a clergy spouse is a “difficult and different lifestyle,” full of joys and struggles. That is one reason she is leading an effort to provide healing ministries to the Florida Conference’s clergy and their spouses and families.

Clergy spouses are “ministers in their own right” who have their own calling from God, she said. Throughout her ministry as a clergy spouse, Whitaker said she has seen the pain and hurt clergy spouses endure. That has helped her hear a call to care for the health and welfare of clergy families. She is working to fulfill that call by creating safe havens for clergy families in crisis.

Whitaker is working with a team of laity, clergy and cabinet members to open a healing house or houses in the Florida Conference.

“A healing house is a place where clergy and/or their spouse and/or family can go in crises when they need to get away from the church or the parsonage and make a decision,” she said.

Each healing house would be a furnished house where clergy and families could go for a retreat. They would be served meals as needed and receive spiritual direction, pastoral counseling and even psychotherapy, according to Whitaker.

“It would be a real place where people can come…a way to reach out to clergy families in crises,” she said.

As part of her ministry, Whitaker spent last fall traveling around the Florida Conference with her husband and meeting with as many clergy spouses as she could. In each district, Whitaker shared the stories of her and her husband’s ministry and life together and invited the clergy spouses to share their stories.

“They could resonate with parts of our story, with the joys and the struggles,” she said. “It was a wonderful opportunity for us to bond…for them to know and get comfortable with us and build a trusting relationship between the clergy and the office of the bishop.”

Whitaker said she met an average of 20 spouses per district, most of whom were spouses of active clergy. She was impressed that many took time off from work to attend the session and got a sense that it was a valuable time for them.

“There were several conversations that were pretty emotional,” she said. “Many responded with tears and a feeling that someone was finally listening to them and that it’s okay to talk about the struggles in ministry. It gave permission for spouses to share the good and the bad.”

One spouse expressed her feelings of isolation. “Others gathered around her in prayer and made lunch dates and times to get together,” Whitaker said. “There was a powerful sense that they felt, ‘We need to connect more.’ I hope this is the beginning of a connection for clergy spouses and families.”