Tom Bandy spoke those words at the Aug. 14-18 Duke National New Church Institute. His words provided an "ah-ha" for me. That is exactly why new churches tend to grow faster than many of our established churches. They have no one inside to love so all the energy of the pastor and core group is spent on loving those outside a congregation. This is one of the reasons why a new church often has problems growing beyond 200 or so members. Once a congregation is formed members begin to love one another so much they forget the people outside their immediate congregation.

I once served a congregation whose members thought of themselves as the friendliest church in town. They were very congenial and spent much time in fellowship. They had a big informal time between early worship service and the second worship service. It was conceived to be a time when visitors would be welcome and experience the warmth of the congregation. The only trouble was that the members loved one another so much they focused on one another and ignored visitors. I can understand how this happens in a society that often isolates us from one another during the week, and Sunday morning is often the only chance we have to visit with our church friends we have not seen for a week.

To love people outside your fellowship more than you do those inside it requires a shift in attitude for members of most congregations. It requires at least the following:

1). spending time, energy and money inviting those outside the church to the congregation’s worship and fellowship;

2). practicing hospitality toward those who dare to venture into the congregation;

3). reserving parking for newcomers;

4). offering community events for children, youth, adults and families at sites other than the church facilities, where both members and non-members can gather as equals;

5). having prayer walks by members of the congregation through the communities within the congregation’s service area; and

6). offering worship services in which music used is reflective of the musical taste of residents of the neighborhood.

Vital congregations grow because they focus on those outside their church. Congregations loose their vitality when all their ministry is focused on themselves.